I thought....

these are the most beautiful words
which we often use as excuses
in hope that
we cover up the mistakes we have done
which in the other words
we do not want the blame fall on us

so we use "I thought..." ~ "wo yi wei...."
most of us is like dat...
including me also...
very scared to admit
that me myself have make the mistakes...
if there are place to put blame,
quickly we want to put the blame into there..
when we push the blame away..
we feel much better..

actually is our mistakes,
but we push away and make it become none of my business
is it the right way to do that?
do we actually feel better?
do we think about the feeling of those being blamed because of our mistakes?
what do they think?
what will i feel if i am in their shoes?

We all should responsible of our own doings...
we should understand that..
eventhough we pushed our mistakes aside and pretend like nothing going on
we surely will still face the consequences
only it matters about time and seriousness
if we still stubborn to admit our mistakes and do not vow to change,
we can lead to facing more serious consequences later on..
if we choose to face our mistakes and admit it, thus make a vow to change
we can see that we can easily accept the consequences
thus it is very less serious compared than we chose not to face it...

so...
stop blaming others..
there is a saying that..
when we use a finger to point outwards,
the others finger of our hands are pointing back to ourselves...
always look back to ourselves
see what is our inner self looks like..
on how to see our inner self..
we can try meditate..
only meditation can calm down our mind
when the sea water of big waves being calmed down become lake water,
you can see what is in the water... ( of course, the water need to be the crystal clear la..haha)

so,
the beginning of a journey,
the travel to our heart..... do you start dy???

PuXian Pusa really come????

u know wat...
i think pu xian pusa really come and find me....
yesterday i have weird dream...
this dream come to inspire me...
reli make me touched until i wake up..
i still can remember the plot of d dream and have clear memories of some events in the dream..

so below this,
i would take u into what i dreamed of...( it is not real, but it happens in my dream..)
the dream start off...
i was going to have an Annual Camp meeting in one of seniors house, which looks like my house...
so dat day, when i reach the house,
i looked around the house,
then an aunty come out with a mooncakes which already cut into 4 pieces..
i remember i took the part which gt the biggest egg york.. haha
then i say thank you to her..
after finish eat dy...
i call everybody to gather to have the meeting..
as i do so...
the aunty looks at me and requested that she got something wanna discuss with me...
looks like very important things..
so i ask everyone to take 5 first as i go talk to aunty...
dunno why i feel that the aunty is very quite close to me..
then as i walk with the aunty to upperfloor of the house..
the aunty ask me whether i am ok o not for the posts i helding...
i think i din answer her n i only smile at her...
then she said,
last time she used to be secreatary of a Buddhist club...
that time she also faces many difficulties
and she said it is a very normal thing..
she said that secreatary post in a buddhist society helps her a lot..
on how to use what she had learnt in Dhamma
to cope up with her difficulties..
and she said that d secreatary job are different from the chairman job...
as a chairman,
she said u need to work up wit people..
the difficulties is how to mix up with people...
she said that d position i now be is more difficult than her last time...
so she ask me to be patient and encourages me not to give up easily..
that time i only listen to what she said to me...
i decided to take that as advice...
then she ask me to see an E-mail
so i look at the E-mail and read it...I REALLY CAN SEE THE WORD ONE BY ONE AND READ IT OUT...
i didnot memorise all but it is almost like this and gt this point..( dunno why, it is really in Malay~)


KEPADA JING SHEN,

Pada masa kini, leaders dipilih mengikut populariti. Jika seseorang mempunyai populariti yang baik, maka senang lah ia menjadi pemimpin..adakah ini perkara yang baik? jikalau seseorang adalah kurang kemampuan tetapi mampu mendapat populariti untuk menjadi memimpin..apakah yang akan berlaku kepada organisasi tersebut jika kita memilih pemimpin yang kurang kemampuan tersebut daripada pemimpin yang berkaliber? Akan tetapi, keadaan adalah berbeza bagi kamu.. kamu dipilih untuk menjadi sebahagian daripada pemimpin yang bertanggung jawab meneruskan cahaya lampu yang diwarisi turun temurun sejak 2500 tahun yang lalu..Kamu perlu menjadi seorang yang tidak mudah berputus asa.

i was really touched when i read the last few lines..i wake up instantaniously due to the touch feeling i have...
when i open my eyes,
i was like wanna straight find a paper and a pen to write down what i dream juz now...
but after thinking awhile that i need to get down stairs to get d pen and paper..
i feel lazy dy...then i sleep back...
haha...

when i sleep back..
i return back to the dream..
now...i asking every1 to gather together to discuss about Annual Camp..
so we finding place to sit down..
the weird thing here is the committies choses to sit outside of the house where sit under the sun..
wah...
i feel cannot la like this..
so i said that it is not suitable to sit there as later reli become hot...
then i look into the living room..
i decided to arrange the sofa and table to aside..
making room for every one to sit down..
one of the commitee said " here so small how can sit o..."
i remember i said to him that, ' today a few people come onli, enough space to sit d la"
dat time really a few commitee attand onli..coz it is after final dy, then many when back 4 holidays...
so we gather those who availabe to do the last GM,
the GM to see wether everything is settled dy o not...
then before we start d meeting,
i see our senoir, Bro Chen Kang arrived wit a very popular spiritual figure...
i oso couldn't think of any reason that he would appear here...
i was like...
isnt he...
d Dalai Lama???
then i see my seniors like Tony there all
welcoming Dalai Lama like very long know each other..
then the weird thing is
Dalai Lama give us each a red packet
i was remember i saying
"thank you , Dalai Lama.." while kneeled down to accept his gift.. i looked at his face and he smiled at me...
i see mine packet...
Rm100 le...
my god..
then i remember there is a person who also give a red packet to Dalai Lama..
then Dalai lama went to have his meal in the dining room..
then Bro.Chen Kang sits down to have the meeting with us...
another weird things happen there also,
Bro Chen Kang offers to be the secreatary helper for me to do the minutes of the meeting..
then i see him turning his diary to look at the previous meeting minutes and ask me wether wanna report what is in the last meeting...
i still remember dat i 4got 2 bring my diary which have the last meeting things...
coz i thought juz wanna have unsettle things solve onli so forgot to bring...
then i answer to Bro. Chen Kang that we can hear the last meeting minutes...
then i see Bro. Chen Kang turn at a page...
then he start reading what is in the page..
then it turns out that he read the wrong meeting agenda which lead all of us feel something wrong about wat he is reading...
we all laugh until.....hahaha
then he quicky search for the right minutes...
then the dream starting to get blur and blurer...
then i wake up dy...
this time..
i faster brush my teeth and on my lap top
to record down what journey i going juz now in here...
haha...
anyway, anything above is juz from my dream ar,
many i couldnt know how this situation could happen in my dream...
like e-mail in malays, Dalai Lama, mooncakes, Bro ChenKang etc...
i dunno why and how...
so if got any offences, i apologize about that...

but i believe, this dream really come to inspire me..and give me advice..
may be, Pu Xian Pusa came n meet me....
gan en .. gan en...

Anyway, ~WAT a DREAM~

Bodhisatva Samantabhadra (Pu Xian pusa)~~ I need ur Help~~`

Pu Xian Pusa...
where are u now??
i really need ur help to pass over these challenges...
can you hear my voice???
will you see my blog over here??

but i believe you will come...
coz i noe it...
You know what...
i actually feel quite tired...
body is tired...
dunno why i feel like body is quite weak..
but i still have alot to do...
but i chooses to take it as mindful as i can...
i c others like seniors also working hard...
i really appreciate them..
thanks...

but i also have my own problems...
i need to face it and overcome it...
but say is very easy...
very very very hard to do le...
actually i have failed a few times...
but i keep keeping the believe...
the believe that i would change this situations...
the energy that keep me going on is the energy from the Dhamma..
only from here can give me the true strength...

and thanks to your ten vows, Pu Xian Pusa...

1. To pay homage and respect to all Buddhas.
2. To praise all the Buddhas.
3. To make abundant offerings. (i.e. give generously)
4. To repent misdeeds and evil karmas.
5. To rejoice in others' merits and virtues.
6. To request the Buddhas to continue teaching.
7. To request the Buddhas to remain in the world.
8. To follow the teachings of the Buddhas at all times.
9. To accommodate and benefit all living beings.
10. To transfer all merits and virtues to benefit all beings.

ur vows have given me the strength to move on...
coz i realise that life isn't easy
to wake up from this 'dream' is not easy,

beings from unlimited boundaries need to know the truth,
worries that keep us in suffering need to overcome,
methods of practise Dhamma unlimited need to be learnt
and the road of Buddhahood need to be accomplised....

because beings are from different characteristics and behavior,
i shall not give up easily...
i should learn to accept...
then learn how to overcome these problems...
if this method can't help,
then learn to use other methods...
Dhamma is very important in our life...
how could i give up ???
how could I not to share this so important thing with other people????
so,
puxian pusa...
i hope u can hear me...
and come and help me...
together we make the situation now become better..
thus the wheel of dhamma can still continue rolling in not only my U, but also in this world...

sabbe satta suki hottu....

Will never STAND UP if GAVE UP !!!!

for the first time,
i try to post a different thing...
a video clip...
this video clip comes in the rite time 4 me...

quite inspiring me for these time...
reli impressed...
when i sincerely nid some answers,
the answer will come 2 me..
may b it is d power of dhamma...





do i dare to say "gv up dy"??
think back..
think back...
gambatei, senz...

Practise everything....

still thinking and searching the answers about what and where is the mind....

today, i thought of something...
mind...
we can lead our life is because our mind..
mind are everything of us..
but our mind now is developed and surrounded by the three evils...
the three components which lead us to suffering..
ignorance, craving, hatred...
because they keep making our mind up and down..
the vibration they made..
make us think that it is our true mind...
make us think that there is a self in us...
is it the real situation?
it is juz like the clouds cover the beautiful moon...
the beautiful moon juz like our mind..
the clouds juz like the three evil..
when the clouds cover over the moon,
sm1 might think that 2nite the moon do not come out..
actually..
the moon is there on the sky..
juz it being covered by the clouds which make it disappeared...

so...
when we practise to purify our mind...
we actually are practising everything...
everything in our speech, thinking and actions..
the mind is the most important element...
no matter v play computer
read books
play football
cooking
if v can practise to see and purify our mind,
everything we do
we also can find the joy of doin it..
If we noe and follow the rule of the life,
we can actually get happiness from all things we are doin...
ladies and gentlemen,
EVERYTHING!!!
such a good chance of us to learn the subject that teaches everything,
why waste it?
why?
Y?
no nid us to pay very high fees to learn also..
even no nid us to pay oso...
sometimes i really want to cry...
reli want to cry...
see the chances of people around me wasted like that..
not that i want to be proud of myself..
juz dat
like when found smthing very useful and wants to share it out
but people dun feel so..and dun1 even sit down and hear what i goin to say...
wat to do...
but nwm...
the seed still need b to plant...
when it become tree,
i dunno..
i only noe
if seed planted
it gt a chance to grow up one day..
haha...yeah!

My Homework....

juz finish watch another Rev. Hui Lu's talk...
feel really very worth to spend time on it although my projects n assignments havent finish do...
haha..

this time...
the talk..
really give me a homework..
sifu got emphasis about the mind (xin)...
taken from sutras...
he repeatedly emphasis about these
"mind is not at past, mind is not in the present, and mind is not in the future"
"mind is not in inside of us, mind is not outside of us, and mind is not in the middle"

what does it mean??
so where is the mind?
what is the mind??
although i understand what sifu explain about these..
but i feel that i am not fully understand these..
then i feel that i have a homework...
homework...
to find and experience what these words actually means...
a sudden feel that i need to search for the answer...
to experience the answer...
until now,
these words keep floating around my mind...
ah....
dharma....
the Truth...
really wonderful..
really powerful....
these is where i feel proud to put my steps in...
trekking in this jungle,
to find the most PRECIOUS TREASURE...

ideas.....

this morning,
i open the dvd of Rev. Hui Lu's talk
hear it for 2 hours...
from start until end i onli watch rev hui lu keep preaching...
but the effect, i feel wonderful than watching a movie of that length of time..
reli so wonderful...
many things i can learn...
the happiness after hearing d talk gives me ohm...
haha...

one of the point which he brings out is
actually many things thing in this world are just our idea which served for convenience purpose only...
for example, the time..


because of our earth are spinning and revolving around the sun..
so we will have half of the earth in the bright side while the other side is on the dark side...
so we called the bright side as the day
and the dark side as the night
when we have day n night,
we can develope time based on that...
these is juz the idea for convenience purpose..
these are not real things..
when we are out of this earth and go to outer space,
there are no day and night...
so how do we determine the time there???
impossible to use the time we used in earth when we at there....
so where gone the time??

these is when Rev. Hui lu trying to explain what means 'emptiness'
'emptiness'...
for example, a cup...
we cant say that it does not exist
we oso cant say that it is a real and permanent thing,
in 'emptiness', it is a form which appear from the combination of many things..
as it is a combination...
when it born, it will surely die...
die means the separation of its combination..
then he got explain about the difference between lay people and sage...
both have the same very expensive and beautiful cup...
one day,
for the lay people,
he accidentally dropped and his cup broken...
his first reaction is about his expensive cup has broken and his heart is juz like being slashed by parang...
then he think about his money flew away..
felt very sad, very angry...

but for sage, those who fully understand the 'emptiness'
when his cup fell down and broken...
his first reaction is
ah...
impermanence..
the time of the separation of combination for this cup has reach...
His heart will not pulled away from this fenomena...
he will juz watch
understand wat is happening
then let the fenomena go...
very calm...
juz like the surface of lake water...

k la..
tonite sharing until here la..
sometimes watch reverend talks better than watching movie..
many things can learn...
haha

immobilized...

where m i now?
wat m i doing?
how should i do?
who should i be?
when i starting to being poisoned???
i m IMMOBILIZED!!!!

the poison starting to attacking in me...
i can see it..
i reli can see it..
it moves slowly...
sometimes it moves very fast...
i juz cant control it..
it immobilized my thinking..
it immobilized my actions...
it immobilized my moods...
it makes me feel my feet is not on the ground..
it make me feel unstabe..
it makes me feel that i might fall down in any second...
smtimes i need time to get alone to c and battle wit it..
dats y i b alone...
dats y i dont talk...
dats y i acted cool...

many people keep giving me advises...
some give me lessons...
some even give me care...

but i am too busy battling with the poison inside me...
i need time to get over this poison...
but the time is too short 4 me...
i need to be quick..
in quick, i need to be mindful...
mindful about wat should i do...
mindful about where m i heading to...
life can seen asvery near to me..
but in a spilt of seconds..
it can make me feel it is very far from me...
many things are not within my control..
i juz can do what i can do....
i juz need time..
i reli dun like to make myself give n follow bad excuses
i reli want to do wat i wishes..

when many things and responsibilities come at one time...
they are the lessons 4 me...
they are the final exams for me...
they are the trainings for me..
they are the warnings for me..

my body feel tired...
i wish to sleep
a good good sleep...
a long long sleep...
sleep without worry...
wake up witout worry...
so nice...

i noe the situation now is different...
i noe there are many people is wit me..
but on this battlefield
onli me,the 1 person can fight wit the poison...
s i can c this poison
s i can watch this poison
i wont get scared..
i juz need time to get my feet back to the ground..
the strong n solid support from the ground
i need u...
i still move on with the time...
i still in defragment process...
senz..u can..
JUZ SMILE...

for dear seniors....

this time...
as i see...
many seniors has drift far away from us...
many sail far away after pencen as committee...
v..
are those juniors..
which grow up because of the care of seniors...
now feel sad..
to watch this kind of fenomena....
supposedly senior who stepped down from committee board
should have stay behind those juniors
gv them the energy 2 move on
instead of these juniors need to worry about their seniors while working hard to attract new juniors....
these juniors will get tired easily
when see their senior like dat..
after retired from committee,
become the other pattern totally opposite than wat we fighting for when we are the committe together...
may be d reason or the excuse given behind this fenomena is
the society didn't gv me any position so they already dun need me...
position is juz d name...
it is nothing when u reli want to help this society...

i think..
reli true that..
no1 in this world is needed by every1...
it is how u make urself needed by every1..
u cant sit there n wait to be needed by people...
even the Buddha
if He did not realise and preach the Truth
he also now wouldn't needed by people

so u cant expect every1 would value you,
if urself wouldnt value yourself...
when every1 noe that u really sincere to be part of the family
then dun differentiate each other because of posts and name
dun make urself very expensive
the egoness
is the poison in a society
it makes every1 feel uncomfortable
and it can spread n kill every1 in the group..

this family need to reunite
the old members should get back strengthen its roots
when the roots is strong enough
it only can grow fast and good...
so dear my seniors...
i reli respect u all...
this family is not mine alone...
this family cant be throw away..
if you think this is the good place where u be in b4
please come back
gv energy to those who in here
plant the seed 2 those who new here
let them noe
the family can be exist in this university..
let them noe there is a place to go other than their own home..
come come...
our own family.....

if and is it???

if a bird doesnt have its wing, is it still a bird???

if a chair losses one of its leg, is it still a chair?

if a house does not have its roof, is it a house??

if the water do not flow, is it still water??

if car does not have its wheel, is it still a car??

if a tree chopped down, is it still a tree???

if a man dies, is it still a man?

wat if i do this, is it that will happen??

wat if i cry, is it indicated i am sad??

wat if i laugh, is it indicated i am happy??

wat if i think, is it i can get the answer?

so many illusions...
so many questions....
so many locked answers...
so many keys to open each locked answers...
so many ways to find the keys...
so many strength i need..
so many patience i need...
so many love i need...
so many experiences i need...
so many advices i need...
so many hope i need...
so many need to learn...

keep goin
keep paddling
keep grinding
keep crawling
keep walking
i still able
thats me
me is that
talk cant be empty
words cant be empty
they wont empty if they fill with actions
actions...with wisdom
is the current
which makes me keep goin

i love you, senz....

Is the world same as we thought????

there is a day...
which i was driving in a heavy traffic jam..
this day leaves me a deep memory which left me think quite much...
it happens when i drive my car slowly crawling in the jam...
as i stopped waiting the car in front to move,
i was controlling my clutch and oil step..

suddenly the cars beside both of me moving forward together,
n the car in front of me left me some distance away..
all happened so suddenly..
my first thought was do my car sliding backward?
straight away i stepped hardly on the brake
i still stepped on the brake..
y my car still moving backward??
second thought
if my car moving backward so fast, i surely will hit the car behind..
my brake might suddenly cant work...
the car still moving behind...
i must do something....
handbrake!!!
ya..quickily i pull my handbrake...
take a deep breath..
look at my rear mirror..
where is the car behind???
how is it???
do i hit it??
no...
everything is fine behind...
jus d car is horning at me...
oh..
now i realise what has happened...
i thought my car had moving backward..
but the real thing is i still at the same place unmoved
onli other passing beside me making me think that i moving backward
i believe behind this scene
there is something trying to teach me
i hv been thinking

actually
do our thought is real?
do we know sometimes our thought may be false?
do we think more than we know?
do we know wat actually happening in this world?
think and know are 2 different things
we should know first then we think
then how much do we know about this real world???
reflect back 2 ourself...
many mistakes we done are because we havent know this world yet..
what is real world?
where is this real world?
this real world is behind the great Truth
get to know the Truth then only we can see the Real World...

wHen A profEssOr MeeT wItH a BoaTmaN...

I was walking in my university compound while heading towards class,
feel that my daily University life is quite pack,
then think is it from this busy life,
i make my life busy for nothing?
or from the busy, i learn many things?

suddenly pop!!!
a story which i heard b4 came out suddenly in my mind,
it is a story between a very high educated man and a very low educated man..

this high educated man is a professor who holds many high certificate in many educational fields, such as science, mathematics, physiology, and many more..
one day,
he wants to cross a river to the other bank,
so he go and find the boatman,
asking the boatman whether can take him across the river,
the boatman says yes...

so,
happily and gratefully the professor sits on the boatman's boat
n the boatman start to row his boat,
sitting facing the boatman,
the professor sees the boatman working hard to row his boat,
he then ask the boatman,
"dear boatman, how high is ur educational level?"
the boatman feel shock about his question,
but he answered him,
"only until standard 3,sir"
the professor 'geleng-geleng' his 'kepala'..
he said,
"ai yo..onli until standard 3 ka?
tak boleh ini macam...'mou chin tou' (no future)
u c me...
i got a PHD in science n Math, degree in Physiology, business, bla..bla..bla...
in the society now,
u nid 2 have at least 1 high educational certificate d...if not, u onli can become a boatman 4 d rest of ur life.."

the boatman din answer anything,
his head looking downward, feel sad and shy about d professor's comment,
suddenly, his boat accidentally hit a big stone in the middle of the river,
like in titanic,
his boat breaks into half and start sinking...(but dont have d titanic romantic scene la)
the professor stunned about wat had happen..
actually he does not know how 2 swim..
the boatman jumps into the river and swims away...
left the professor alone sinking along the boat..
the professor start yelling for help and asking the boatman 2 save him...
the boatman yell back at him
" actually i already have a PHD!!!
the PHD in SWIMMING!!!"
professor drown into his egoness and his ignorance...

this story is telling us that
watever we do and learn
think back why we need 2 learn that
is it juz for knowledge?
or for our life?
learn how 2 save our life is much more important to learn how 2 fill our life..
we live for once,
there is no two 21 years old...
so, why waste our life for nothing?
build life in the more meaningful ways...
u wont regret when u are closing ur eyes for the LAST TIME...

my first sketch (part 2)

yesterday juz end my sketch...feel very proud of it...really..haha
b4 i start my feeling about it..
i would like 2 write down wat is part 2 all about....

Continues from part 1, when Johny is being tied to five horses..suddenly, a hero appears. He run towards Johny and try to save Johny.The hero cuts all of the ropes by his sword and grabs Johny. The guards of the punishment place rush towards the hero to prevent him save Johny. The hero fights with the guards as he takes Johny running away. The hero got chance to stab one of the guards but he chooses not to do so because he does not want to hurt anybody. The hero manages to escape with Johny. He and Johny run as fast as they could until the guards could not catch up.

Then they stop at a place. Johny with teary and thankful eyes, thanks the hero for saving him from the dead sentence. When Johny’s emotion becoming stable, he ask the hero why come to save him eventhough he deserved to have the dead sentence. The hero told him that he is one of the group which singing hymn and be together. Although Johny runs away from him, he always cares of the news of Johny. When he heard about the capture of Johny, he feels that he needs to help him. He feels that Johny has learnt his lessons and he should be given another chance. The hero tells Johny that the lifestyle and the actions he did are in the wrong path. There are many meaningful and right ways of painting our life. The hero shares that during the times he be with his group, he learnt many thing about himself and how to become a happy and true human. So he wants to share the feeling and the thinking to others. Johny ask him what if that time he joins the group, is that a university student should be?? What is a true University student be like? The hero said to him, ‘come, I bring you to a place to find out the answer’

(talk starts)

Johny know realize the meaning of the true university student. He is very happy that he finally knows that there are such kind of things that teaches him on how to live happily and healthily. The hero said to him that he hope that Johny know has learnt some about the meaning of life. And now the hero let him decides what he feel he need to do. Johny smile back to him and thanks him for saving him and show him such precious things. He later said to hero that he knows what to do already.

Johny later go and give up himself to the police. He determined that he needs to be responsible of his wrong doings. As the punishment going on, the ropes become tighter and tighter, Johny closes his eyes and stands the pain. As the pain become more and more stronger, he cant stand thus he shout out loud…..

(powerpoint comes in)
in the powerpoint,
i take "choices" as my theme..
choices is life
life is choices
as long as we are breathing, we will meet many choices
then we need to choose
each choices will lead to different destinations
sometimes we do not know we are the one who makes choices

life is juz like a river
know why we dont have a straight river from mountain to its final destination?
because during its flow,
it will meet many obstacles and need 2 overcome them in order 2 move forward.

so, there are so many choices in front of our eyes..
look back 2 ourselves and think
which 1 would be d best 4 me?

then i bring to introduction of UBF
firstly i show all the activities pic
then intro DSG n Meditation class
then give them a word from the Buddha

“ We are what we think.
All that we are
Arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts,
we make the world. ”


the whole part 1 and part 2 finally wrapped up already
i personally feel satisfied
although during part 2, there are many unavoidable technical problems arises
if not, the sketch can be performed better
actually the quality of part 2 slightly lower than part 1,
may b can blamed 2 d little downfall of attitude for each actors and actress and also me
sometime takes things too easily
takes thing not seriously
i noticed that
but i cant do anything
i cant be too hard
nor be too soft
but i really hope that each people who participate in this could learn something
i personally had learn many thing
i learned to be patient, and i can see many kind of behavior of people
i played with my own feeling
sometimes i feel stressed, disappointed, happy, pity, nervous etc..
i managed to keep clam and keep believe in myself

ok ok
turn back 2 d part 2..
i that indeed feel shocked when what i tried to show in my sketch
fit perfectly to Uncle Vijaya's talk
even Uncle Vijaya ask whether we actually know what he going to talk about
tell d truth..
i really never thought that i want to link d sketch with what Uncle Vijaya goin to talk about
i juz too focus on the whole story and how to bring the storyline to the talk..
haha..
anyway, it is another success la...

the highlight i put on that day is the hero came down from d audience enterence and fighting with 2 guards accompanying by the theme song of Star Wars..i managed to get the attention from audiences at that scene..haha
another highlight is the powerpoint slide show
by let audience know about their life then throw a question
then let them see the pictures of activities so that they know what UBF is doing
the come the advertisment of DSG and Meditation class
wrapped up all of UBF in package to introduce to the newcomers..
but all of these are just technical things, they juz live for a short period..
the most effective of promoting is keep a human interaction relationship. The warmer the relationship, the better for our family...
so, think wat need to do
then do it...dont juz stop at thinking and saying..
ACTIONS ARE THE ANSWERS OF OUR THOUGHT...
jia you, senz and UBF family...

tHe Blind SpOt

nothing is perfect in this world...
the perfection is when we fully understand that there is nothing is perfect..
many things when we see from our own view,
looks like they are perfect
but it is not the same when others sees from their view

the blind spot is the spot we missed to look at
it is the spot where we need others to remind us
if we still keep to ourself
we will learn nothing
we need to learn to put ourself aside
hear what others' opinion
we can choose not to accept first
and
we shall not blindly accept those opinion

we need to learn how to think and analysis
give the reason why we need to accept or reject
sometime multiple opinions can be combined into one more perfect opinion

although sometime there might be some hard feeling when hearing others' opinion
we need to come back to ourself
the enemy will not be the people who is giving the hard opinions
the enemy is ourself
if we defeated ourself's ignorance and ego
there is no such things as enemy
everything will be our teacher....
we will learning many interesting things everyday
doesn't it great????

tHe FirSt SkEtCh....

Wednesday,9/7/2009
The welcoming nite
has ended...
remarked my first directed sketch has reach its middle of its plot..
to tell the truth..
my ownself actually

couldnt believe i can reach so far...
couldnt believe i can write out the story
couldnt believe i can think the plot
couldnt believe i can choose the actors and actress
couldnt believe i can work out so good with them
couldnt believe i can think out and do those costumes and props
couldnt believe i can direct the situation so smoothly
so so many...i couldnt believe...
but i believe that my direction is correct
and what i need to do is play freely within the rules of my direction
as long that i still within the boundaries of my direction
i am safe to go crazy and high...haha

may be the time in the future i look back here,
i might lost the memories about the first sketch which i turn it from the words on the paper to the drama on the stage..
now i plan to write the story here

the story begins with...

A high ranked government officer,Johny who is rich and quite powerful. During his work, he is very greedy and dishonest officer. He usually likes to receive and gives bribes to make his work easier and have additional income. But, he managed to do all of his dishonest actions without being caught and is able to clean the ‘dirt’ of his actions. Besides that, he also enjoy himself by going clubbing and playing games. He always busy on his own schedule until forgot to arrange time for his family. As a result, he always quarrel with his family and he feels that both of his parents are burdens for him. when his parents trying to advise him, he will feel that his parents are nagging at him, so he will fiercely fight back and scold at them.

As time goes by, Johny still does not want to stop doing the dishonest and evil actions. But, one day, his day turned into one of his worst day. As he is trying to asking and receiving for bribes, he did not know that his actions being watch by BPR. As he is going to leave after receiving the bribes, BPR sprang out and catch him. He is stunned and cant do anything.

As a high rank government officer, it is very serious if one being caught dishonest in doing his responsibilities. So, for Johny, he took to the magistrate court and then he is found guilty. Because he did many dishonest acts while doing his responsibilities, he is being slapped by a death penalty which is “body tear up by 5 horses”. He will stay in jail while waiting for his deadly sentence.

While waiting for his death, he lives in fear and sorrow. He feels very regret of his past evil actions. His parents visit him everyday and always encourage him to be more brave to face the greatest challenge ahead. He saw his parent still take care of him eventhough he always treat them ill. The tears of regret flow from the inner heart of Johny. From his mouth, came out the words, “mama, papa, I love you”. All three of the family hugged together and cried together.

One night, Johny suddenly reflect back during the time when he was in university. He remembers that he walking into a class where there are a group of people. There is a committee named Go Ask Him approached him and persuade him to join the hand expression dance.
( hand expression starts…)

A friend of Johny introduces Johny to play computer games. Johny starts to become more and more addicted to those games. When UBF committee try to persuade him to come. He start to make the committee life hard. But he at last attend the games session but reaches late because of playing computer games.

(games session starts..)

The other friend takes Johny go clubs for clubbing. Johny become more and more enjoying his life. After try once, he becomes obsessed with the feeling and wants to go there some more. The UBF committee need to be more hard to persuade him to attend. Johny tried to brush away the committee and scold the committee.

Johny cries as he feels regret for missed the chance to join and enjoy with the group. In his life, he has never met such a sincere group before. Additionally he does not believe there have such a group in the society today. He also feel regret because he mistakenly follows the wrong way which lead him to what he becoming now.


The day of death sentence reaches. Johny with very disturbed emotions ( scared, sad, etc) while being taken to the punishment place. When the Penalty officer throws the punishment stick to indicate the start of punishment, Johny screams, shouts, cries and 'meronta-ronta' while the process of the punishment is going on.
- His head is being tied to horse 1 “ Entertainments ” .
- His left hand is tied to horse 2 “ Educations”
- His right hand is tied to horse 3 “ Personal love gf/bf ”
- His left leg is tied to horse 4 “ Families ”
- His right leg is tied to horse 5 “ Job ”

As the horses begin to walk and the ropes becoming more and more tight, Johny becomes more and more scared. He really hopes that there will be a people come and save him. He closes his eyes and shouts painfully…

(to be continued)
the end of part 1


in this very part 1,
i try to bring out the real university environments to show the new comers
from my way, i try to get closer to my audience
people likes what they likes
people likes to have funny things so i added the funny elements
people might ask why i put DOTA and Clubbing in my sketch
they might be thinking y a buddhist club become like promoting people to those unhealthy lifestyle

my personal reasons are we DO NOT promote those lifestyle, we SHOW OUT that happen around us during our U life here.. PROMOTE and SHOW both are very different things.
after i show out, i bring them to see what will happen when they chooses to against activities which can develope the qualities of innerself. What will happen when they gone extreme inside those unhealthy lifestyle.. Yes, those computer games and clubbing are definitely fun than Buddhist fellowships' hand expression dance and hymns..that is when we see it in 'short sighted' and ignorance. When we wear our 'glasses' and 'telescope' to see more clearly, the different things came out... the realness between these two groups shown very clearly..the real cetak rompak shown very clearly..one is show us about the meaning of life while the other show us the fake happiness of life..what would u choose??

"body tear out with five horses"
may be you might want to know y i choose this so called death penalty..
the reasons are
1. easy to act...lol
2. many people couldnt guess this death penalty..many would guess hang to death, shoot to death and etc..haha..purposely make u all 'za dao'
3. actually, the main reason behind it is in our life, there are 5 most important things in our life. JoB, Family, Entertainment, Personal Love and Education.. these five groups i classified them as the death sentence horses..if we couldnt take care well of those horses, it is very same like being killed by the death sentences..it served as a warning to us to take care our life well...

before i end my sharing here 2day,
i shall not forget the most funny element i added in my sketch
the 'gardenia roti' which the mother brings for johny when she visited him in the jail..the scene is a sad scene but i added an unpredictable bomb to make my audience become 'za dao' along the sad but heart tickling music..haha..

k la...until here la my sharing 2day..very fun very fun...i really feel like i become Director Zhang YiMou who directed the unpredictable opening ceremony of Beijing Olympics.haha..not bad not bad,senz...jia you..yeah!!!

turn over the new leaf...

huh..time time time...
time waits for no man...
time flies...
wa!! so fast ar??!!!
that's all i can describe for time...

tomorrow,
the new sem start for me to become a third year student...

tomorrow,
i will have a look of my new intake juniors...

tomorrow,
i will become people's senior

tomorrow,
i will meet new lecturers

tomorrow,
i will get to know my new subjects

tomorrow,
i will try 2 work more hard for my studies

tomorrow,
i will try 2 work more hard for UBF

tomorrow,
i will try hard to let more people to know the truth

there is when tomorrow become today,
today becomes present moment,
those 'i will' shall become 'i am ***ing'

for this sem,
i got do some thinking about some changes which can be applied in UBF and myself..
hope my plans can be succeed..

senior's words for me " once a UBF committee, always the UBF committee",
this words really touched me...

these days in UBF really taught me many kinds of things...
thanks to my commitment, my courage and my patience to stay here...
without them, i think i cant be where i am now...
when seeing other friends scared of UBF activities,
a feeling rised up inside of me...
the feeling was like i am afraid of myself...
juz like past myself
din understand that actually UBF is part of myself
and myself is part of UBF
so make me separate both myself..
'like man but not a man,
ghost but not a ghost.'
"nang bo di nang
gui bo di gui" (hainanese)


but after i understand that UBF is part of me..
my life turn into the new arena
Rev Ji Chern got said before
our life is juz like a game
this game have its rule
if we play this game without understand and master its rule,
we will end up suffering and fed up of playing this game
if we play this game when we understood and master its rule,
we can play happily and freely
in the same time, we can freely show out our potential and talent when playing the game without worrying about the rules...
it is juz like the game of chess...


so guys...make sure u noes the "rule" before playing the "games"..
if dunno, go dharma study class la..haha ^.^

7 days meditation retreat (QUIET 7)...

7 days of training had passed...
for me,
it is one of a toughest camp i ever have...
reli trained my mental power...

7 days of meditation really taught me many things...
i can c my emotions go up and down like sitting in a roller coster...
some time i feel really want to give up...
some time i feel i got motivation can hold on..
some time i feel nervous..
some time i feel calm...
some time...
some time...


y i will feel so???
u will now if u c d time table of the retreat...
morning wake up at 4am..
straight go 2 meditation hall 2 meditate after brushing teeth...
meditate about 1 period then do some yoga exercise..
then meditate again
after that do morning puja...then breakfast
after breakfast, meditate for 4 periods straight until lunch...
after lunch, hear sifu's talk for 1 hour
then meditate again till dinner...
after dinner, can listen 2 d second sifu's talk...
after that go back 2 meditation hall 2 meditate again...
then can finally zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

fuh..
u think meditation is easy ar???
if easy then dun have the challenge dy lo...
my first 4 days feel like living in hell...
my leg pain taouuu..... T.T
my leg very hard and cant relax...
so when meditate, i attack by the pain as i need 2 fold it in half lotus position...
so, every period of meditation, i was like playing wars with my feeling...
i try 2 hold d pain and try not 2 give up by putting my leg free...
each time like this make me feel scared 2 start meditate
i wanna run away from the meditation hall...

but days passed...
things change....
each time i battle with my own feeling, i try up many ways to make myself relax...
then as i adjust my innerself,
i oso try 2 adjust my body position..
things start 2 get better...
i suddenly realise that before coming 2 this camp, i havent know the meaning of meditation
after this retreat, i have d enough confidence to put effort on meditation.

at the last night of the camp,
after 'wu jin tern',
we gether around ji chern sifu...
chatting with him..
he is very humourous and his word really full of wisdom..
really like 2 hear his idea and d way of expressing himself...
very very hard 2 get this opportunity to sit like this
n i sit at his left side sumore...wah..
i feel so lucky...
sifu chatting with us until 2 am something...
but i managed 2 tahan until 1am b4 went 2 sleep
i was thinking
if i do not join this retreat
i would not have learn so much
this is not matter of money,
this is the most valuable things that we can only work with our own sweats without money...

this is juz a very small part that i wanna 2 share out...still got many more until can write a dictionary...haha
for my kalyana mitra out there,
if you havent try this camp,
you can go have a try....
it will test and train our mental strength
and make us know how well we know about ourself...
we can not look down on our mind...
OUR MIND IS A VERY POWERFUL AND SPECIAL THINGS
ALWAYS DO REFLECT BACK 2 OURSELF AND AWARE OF OUR ACTIONS
BECAUSE WE HAVENT KNOW OURSELF WELL
AS WE ALWAYS THINK WELL OF OURSELF ONLY

Middle of holiday

hAhA...

The final fever had gone for many weeks dy...
now in the middle of holiday..
this holiday..
until today..
many things have happened..
either good ones or bad ones..
but they all give me unvaluable experiences and memories...

"gan en" 8-)

juz after the final,
i joined UBF Dhamma camp
then help out in my village big day..
then go to Ipoh 'Bo Re Yan' to help sifu do cleaning
then 1,2,3 May just participate as fasilatator of primary school student camp...

now preparing to go to meditation retreat for 7days.
then stays at senior's house for few days before heading to chuan ying in Taiping...

hahaha...my May schedule full of activities...busier than Obama..kaka

Do "TOMORROW" exist???? ....

Do tomorrow exist??
mmm...
i mean can we actually meet this day so called 'tomorrow'?
do we really live in the "actual" day of 'tomorrow?
think...
think...
when ar?..
when is the last time ar?
think..
think..

mmm..
do we realise that??...
every 'tomorrow' will come and become 'today'...
every 'later' will becomes 'now'..
every 'future' will becomes 'present'...
so do we actually can live in tomorrow, later and future????
logically,
scientifically,
truely,
d fact is...
WE CANT!!!!

but...
the problem of us as a normal human...
we think we can live in the future...
live in the future is like dreaming...

dreaming is an illusion..






we dream,







dream,








dream...









we feel syok in our dream...
we feel sad in our dream...
we feel scared in our dream...
we feel lazy in our dream...
we feel rejected in our dream...
we hope our dream become true and waiting it 2 become true...
we hope our dream will not become true and scared it will become true...
we waiting it 2 come...
we scared it will come...
wait or scared....
dream...
dream...
dream...
zzzzz......

if we always live like this everyday...
doesn't it looks like we sleeping throughout our life?
do we forget we have so called "today","present"n "now"???
do we know the real happiness when we live in present state??
do we ever enjoy the happiness before?
yes...
"live in the moment"
this is what i m going come out wit....
read n understand it looks like very simple ho....
that is what we think...
this 4 words...
not as easy to do than understand it...

for example...
we usually like 2 multitasking...
we hard to enjoy n focus on what we do...
we dunno what we are doin...
juz like robot...
can finish the process
but dunno the meaning doin the work...
meaningless work...
many times...
body is doin the work..
mind flew to another place
isn't it look like when in d serious accident...
the head break off n flew away from the body...
haha..
yucks!!!
so horrible..
but indeed
this is actually happen inside us...
scared le...
we all are the 'victim of the accident',
when we doesnt train our mind to stick with our actions....
it is hard...
but it is important..
it is meaningful...
it is LIFE....
it is EVERYTHING....
it is HAPPINESS...
n..
it is SUCCESS...

STOP LIVING IN FUTURE...
LIVE IN PRESENT..
v plan 4 future..
v create our goal 4 future..
BUT
v put our steps to the goal in PRESENT..
V start doing now...
dun think what will happen..
if we believe wat we doin doesnt run away from our objective,
JUST DO IT...

BELIEVE IN OURSELF....
WE CAN DO IT...
EVEN IF WE FAIL..
WE CAN LEARN SOMETHING VALUABLE FROM THE FAILURE..
SO Y SCARED 2 FAIL??
WHEN THERE IS NO FAILURE,
THERE IS NO SUCCESS...
WHEN WE KNOW HOW TO LEARN FROM FAILURE,
THE WORLD IS SO WONDERFUL AS THERE IS SO MUCH THINGS CAN B LEARN.

SO, LIVE TODAY, LIVE IN PRESENT, LIVE NOW.....LIVE IN THE MOMENT...

WE CAN DO IT COZ WE WANT TO DO IT....

'dana' (giving)

Suddenly realise a bit about the meaning of dana...
realise that if we do dana without wisdom...
it will bring worries and many negative feeling....

this morning, i sweep my room's floor..
as usual, i start sweeping from my room
then i will challenge myself to sweep the whole house except d rooms of my friends..
as my house is a double stories house...
i realise that very few people will do like me..
sweeping the whole house...
y waste time 4 that??
i better use the time to read books or sleeping..
that might things that flying inside most of our head...
i oso noe that this will oso fly inside my head...
but i thought of if i dint sweep d floor...
my housemate oso wont sweep them...
the house will be more n more dirty...
every1 oso bcome more n more uncomfortable..
so
if i realise this is a bad attitude to be selfish
y i need 2 follow this attitude
if i want 2 change
i need 2 do and overcome this attitude

THE BATTLE OF ME and ME BEGINS.....


both side have d same amount of armies
same amount of General
but 1 side ME has d WISDOM, COMPASSION and DETERMINATION
another side has d EVIL, LAZINESS and SELFISHNESS
fight...
fight...
fight...
fight...
fight....
fight....
as i was sweeping d floor...
guess who will win....



haha...
like most of d movies...
of course good side will win la...
i was thinking...
dana is giving with voluntary...
giving with compassion...
with the spirit of hoping it will benefit others...
we never gv things that will hurt others...
so if what we do benefit others...
y we need 2 kira-kira(calculate) bout what we do???
like NIKE said "just do it"

the feeling of conquered the evil side...
so happy..
so enjoy....
like i already conquered one state of my mind country..
no pain no gain..
if i doesnt start d war
i will not get this winning...
it is worth 4 it
very worth...
if we want to change
we need to do and determine to do until the end
only loser that quits
thats the law of nature
dont just stop at talk onli
no use
to say 'i want to change'
then does not take any action towards that
the talk is meaningless
is empty
just an excuse
we need to do what we already determine
then we can grows in our life
of course do things toward d good side la....haha

for those haven learn buddhism
can try 2 learn learn
what the Buddha teach..
not exactly a religion
is about a teaching about how 2 become a TRUE HUMAN
what MANUSIA is about...
living beings which can be upgrade
all of the best psychology, philosophy, lifestyle, thinking, etc...
are all inside the teaching...
dont believe?
go c c la..
(if u want 2 c d result,
u need 2 be patient, sincere and d determination)
haha
no need 2 so formal n stress bout that la...
juz enjoy
life is about enjoy.....haha

my candle had lighted up...hv 2 light the others candles...

These days...
feeling quite weird...
i think i have changed...
i think i hv come 2 a different level...
i can c quite clearly those worries arise around me...
i can n like to think bout its roots n try 2 solve it...
sometimes i feel very pity for those who still dunno they r playin with worries...
worries = a very bad friends...they can either kill u n make u suffer....
i oso feel that nw quite sensitive with 'hatred'
hatred is a one of the most dangerous feelin in the world....

i hv feel the joyness....
the different joyness.....
reli different....
d joyness from within.....
so special...
so long lasting...
so true...
so happy...
this joyness...
lit up my candle....
make me feel wonderful everyday...
connects me 2 c PU XIAN PUSA everyday...
make me feel that i reali touch both of my feet on d ground..
i neither scared of my academic nor my society...
as long s i din lost my focus...
everything is goin fine...

i now wish 2 pass my light 2 other candles...
for those who scared of UBF,
reli 1 2 tell u that a society is set up by people...
if d people change...
d society will change...
lets us bring d society 2 d ways that can b accepted by us..
YES..v can...
the direction that every1 fun 2 do 4 it....
juz d basic direction shall not gone far away...
if every1's candle is lit up,
i m sure these will written in our own history....
a good memories in our history...
i m sure that every1 wish 2 hv good memories than bad memories...
so y dun v choose 2 hv a good memories...
is juz d matter of wether v wan o not...
the matter of can o not is juz d excuse...
is the excuse...
reli excuse.....
if v always gv excuse....
v actually said "excuse me, can i excuse myself from this wonderful world to my little lonely world?"
is so pity..
very pity...
there r solutions 4 us 2 b a happy person...
but many of us juz 1 2 ignore them..
n claim that they will find their own happiness...
will they able 2 find???
mostly will trapped inside delusions, sadness, worriness...
some cases..
they fell down in tiredness, emotionless, sickness...
as everythin is illusions in front of our eyes...
v thought it is solid one thing n can never change...
d law of nature is juz opposite of wat v think...
everythin changes...
there are no solid one thing...
everything is combined by different things....
so y v craving on 2 them...
if time 2 let it go...
then let it go la...
if time is enjoy it...
then enjoy it la...

this light....
reli hope can pass 2 other people...
i sure it can...
coz if every1 gt lit up...
i sure that..
every1's world will b a beautiful world....
a beautiful world...
the world is so beautiful...
very beautiful...
beautiful..
so..
let us get our candle 2 lit d light same s me 2 c this beautiful world....

bukit tinggi

i m on the rite track....juz keep on acceleratin

juz coming back from the so called "er mei shan"(er mei mountain)...haha... feel that pu xian pusa reali always next to me and guide me everytime....He knows that i need 2 noe the meaning of his 10 vows..so he arrange many ing yuans 4 me to get better known of his 10 vows...so, in conjunction with that, he arrange seniors 2 make a committee refresh camp in Bukit Tinggi..

Fuh...so, after the preparation session of Moral stuff, i n Jeng Shiuh straight go 2 Bukit Tinggi as i drive...haha..1st time drive so far 2 place i nvr been b4...luckily can reach there safely..the feeling goin to Bukit Tinggi juz like feel goin 2 'er mei shan' go c puxian pusa..in my mind, this is very very precious...if i not a committee, i wont hv a chance 2 hv this joyness.. deep inside my heart, i cried 4 those committee who din hv d ing yuan to join this refresh camp...u all are so pity...ke lian..this is a very precious precious chance 2 know and upgrade ourself but u all missed the chance...T.T

goin there, besides hearing 10 vows of pu xian, i manage 2 get recognization from Bro. Chong n seniors about my thinking and my experience of Dhamma...feel that i realli on d rite track...anyhow, learning Dhamma is not juz listening n know what is said...it is about how u practise what u learn n experience them... 4 me, d more frequent v experience the dhamma, the more v noe about ourself n the more v can live in happily n also v can c the world more n more clearly...THE POWER OF DHAMMA--DONT UNDERESTIMATE IT...

During this camp, feel that d bonding among committees who went n seniors,getting stronger...also feel that Mei Er, Wei Hau, You Wei, Ah Kong had learnt smthing n really hope this will boost their confidence in Dhamma... Seniors especially old seniors reli reli fun n so caring bout us...haha..

haha...it is juz 2 days n 1 nite camp...many things happen in this camp..either 'cant c light'events or 'can c light' events..haha...everything oso so fun...also can live in France style of village...n from this camp, i observed that 'smthing big' will happen...haha...secret...juz duduk dan tengok..i hv seen d review..the 'big movie' goin 2 release...haha..stop 4 here 1st...short camp but very very nice camp..i hope i gt another chance 2 go there..NO REGRETS 2 B IN THIS FAMILY..

come la.....STONES!!!!!!

People says new year new hopes..
but 4 me, this year would make me say new year, new challenges..
haha...

many things keep coming banging on me...just feel like standing in the middle of a circle of people who keep throwing stoneS at me... But luckily, i still have d feeling like a big strong pillar..standing strong and wont let the stones hit me down...so i gonna be wise..hv 2 let go which i think i cant handle n focusing on wat i need 2 do.. When let of the stone, makes me hope dat the stones wont turn back n hit me again..i m juz a normal human, i cant please any1..

My education n fellowship being my major stones testing my life...i now defending against these stones...so i hv 2 avoid n let go other stones which might lower down my defence..but,may be when i let go other stones will effect the major stones become stronger against me...but i cant do anything as is not within my control...n of course i reli dun hope dat will happen...it juz make me feel more tired n may b my strong pillar might juz go down meet d ground...emotionless...defendless....tiredness....sadness...sickness

4 me, tell me, remind me, my ownself....escaping is not a soln..turn away is not a soln..everything hv cleared...y makin ownself like a monster...y want 2 run from reality? y not accept d reality n get goin by the wise n wisdom way? mind make the problem arise, y not we cure the sickness of our mind n start goin in new direction??
not like we dun undertand, juz we dun1 accept the reality n keep pressuring ownself n others...have 2 cool down n think back..is it worth 4 everything i do, i think, i speak? wats the wisdom way 2 solve this thing?
Juz cure it from my mind....
many things we thought we reli need 2 have, if not we will die..
IS IT WE NEED 4 LIFE?? O WE WANT 4 LIFE??
need n want is different things...think n reflect back...is we will die if we doesnt get wat we want... i c back my GOLDEN SPOON... 4 everything, 4 everytime, we reli need 2 have limit..we reli nid 2 noe where n when 2 stop...CRAVING is o horrible things...scary....

k la..i think i stop here first..fuh..all my heart shit poured here..haha..senz ar..senz...u need continue become a strong pillar o...u still need 2 make good 'ing yuan's 4 u and other people....jia you