immobilized...

where m i now?
wat m i doing?
how should i do?
who should i be?
when i starting to being poisoned???
i m IMMOBILIZED!!!!

the poison starting to attacking in me...
i can see it..
i reli can see it..
it moves slowly...
sometimes it moves very fast...
i juz cant control it..
it immobilized my thinking..
it immobilized my actions...
it immobilized my moods...
it makes me feel my feet is not on the ground..
it make me feel unstabe..
it makes me feel that i might fall down in any second...
smtimes i need time to get alone to c and battle wit it..
dats y i b alone...
dats y i dont talk...
dats y i acted cool...

many people keep giving me advises...
some give me lessons...
some even give me care...

but i am too busy battling with the poison inside me...
i need time to get over this poison...
but the time is too short 4 me...
i need to be quick..
in quick, i need to be mindful...
mindful about wat should i do...
mindful about where m i heading to...
life can seen asvery near to me..
but in a spilt of seconds..
it can make me feel it is very far from me...
many things are not within my control..
i juz can do what i can do....
i juz need time..
i reli dun like to make myself give n follow bad excuses
i reli want to do wat i wishes..

when many things and responsibilities come at one time...
they are the lessons 4 me...
they are the final exams for me...
they are the trainings for me..
they are the warnings for me..

my body feel tired...
i wish to sleep
a good good sleep...
a long long sleep...
sleep without worry...
wake up witout worry...
so nice...

i noe the situation now is different...
i noe there are many people is wit me..
but on this battlefield
onli me,the 1 person can fight wit the poison...
s i can c this poison
s i can watch this poison
i wont get scared..
i juz need time to get my feet back to the ground..
the strong n solid support from the ground
i need u...
i still move on with the time...
i still in defragment process...
senz..u can..
JUZ SMILE...