Middle of holiday

hAhA...

The final fever had gone for many weeks dy...
now in the middle of holiday..
this holiday..
until today..
many things have happened..
either good ones or bad ones..
but they all give me unvaluable experiences and memories...

"gan en" 8-)

juz after the final,
i joined UBF Dhamma camp
then help out in my village big day..
then go to Ipoh 'Bo Re Yan' to help sifu do cleaning
then 1,2,3 May just participate as fasilatator of primary school student camp...

now preparing to go to meditation retreat for 7days.
then stays at senior's house for few days before heading to chuan ying in Taiping...

hahaha...my May schedule full of activities...busier than Obama..kaka

Do "TOMORROW" exist???? ....

Do tomorrow exist??
mmm...
i mean can we actually meet this day so called 'tomorrow'?
do we really live in the "actual" day of 'tomorrow?
think...
think...
when ar?..
when is the last time ar?
think..
think..

mmm..
do we realise that??...
every 'tomorrow' will come and become 'today'...
every 'later' will becomes 'now'..
every 'future' will becomes 'present'...
so do we actually can live in tomorrow, later and future????
logically,
scientifically,
truely,
d fact is...
WE CANT!!!!

but...
the problem of us as a normal human...
we think we can live in the future...
live in the future is like dreaming...

dreaming is an illusion..






we dream,







dream,








dream...









we feel syok in our dream...
we feel sad in our dream...
we feel scared in our dream...
we feel lazy in our dream...
we feel rejected in our dream...
we hope our dream become true and waiting it 2 become true...
we hope our dream will not become true and scared it will become true...
we waiting it 2 come...
we scared it will come...
wait or scared....
dream...
dream...
dream...
zzzzz......

if we always live like this everyday...
doesn't it looks like we sleeping throughout our life?
do we forget we have so called "today","present"n "now"???
do we know the real happiness when we live in present state??
do we ever enjoy the happiness before?
yes...
"live in the moment"
this is what i m going come out wit....
read n understand it looks like very simple ho....
that is what we think...
this 4 words...
not as easy to do than understand it...

for example...
we usually like 2 multitasking...
we hard to enjoy n focus on what we do...
we dunno what we are doin...
juz like robot...
can finish the process
but dunno the meaning doin the work...
meaningless work...
many times...
body is doin the work..
mind flew to another place
isn't it look like when in d serious accident...
the head break off n flew away from the body...
haha..
yucks!!!
so horrible..
but indeed
this is actually happen inside us...
scared le...
we all are the 'victim of the accident',
when we doesnt train our mind to stick with our actions....
it is hard...
but it is important..
it is meaningful...
it is LIFE....
it is EVERYTHING....
it is HAPPINESS...
n..
it is SUCCESS...

STOP LIVING IN FUTURE...
LIVE IN PRESENT..
v plan 4 future..
v create our goal 4 future..
BUT
v put our steps to the goal in PRESENT..
V start doing now...
dun think what will happen..
if we believe wat we doin doesnt run away from our objective,
JUST DO IT...

BELIEVE IN OURSELF....
WE CAN DO IT...
EVEN IF WE FAIL..
WE CAN LEARN SOMETHING VALUABLE FROM THE FAILURE..
SO Y SCARED 2 FAIL??
WHEN THERE IS NO FAILURE,
THERE IS NO SUCCESS...
WHEN WE KNOW HOW TO LEARN FROM FAILURE,
THE WORLD IS SO WONDERFUL AS THERE IS SO MUCH THINGS CAN B LEARN.

SO, LIVE TODAY, LIVE IN PRESENT, LIVE NOW.....LIVE IN THE MOMENT...

WE CAN DO IT COZ WE WANT TO DO IT....

'dana' (giving)

Suddenly realise a bit about the meaning of dana...
realise that if we do dana without wisdom...
it will bring worries and many negative feeling....

this morning, i sweep my room's floor..
as usual, i start sweeping from my room
then i will challenge myself to sweep the whole house except d rooms of my friends..
as my house is a double stories house...
i realise that very few people will do like me..
sweeping the whole house...
y waste time 4 that??
i better use the time to read books or sleeping..
that might things that flying inside most of our head...
i oso noe that this will oso fly inside my head...
but i thought of if i dint sweep d floor...
my housemate oso wont sweep them...
the house will be more n more dirty...
every1 oso bcome more n more uncomfortable..
so
if i realise this is a bad attitude to be selfish
y i need 2 follow this attitude
if i want 2 change
i need 2 do and overcome this attitude

THE BATTLE OF ME and ME BEGINS.....


both side have d same amount of armies
same amount of General
but 1 side ME has d WISDOM, COMPASSION and DETERMINATION
another side has d EVIL, LAZINESS and SELFISHNESS
fight...
fight...
fight...
fight...
fight....
fight....
as i was sweeping d floor...
guess who will win....



haha...
like most of d movies...
of course good side will win la...
i was thinking...
dana is giving with voluntary...
giving with compassion...
with the spirit of hoping it will benefit others...
we never gv things that will hurt others...
so if what we do benefit others...
y we need 2 kira-kira(calculate) bout what we do???
like NIKE said "just do it"

the feeling of conquered the evil side...
so happy..
so enjoy....
like i already conquered one state of my mind country..
no pain no gain..
if i doesnt start d war
i will not get this winning...
it is worth 4 it
very worth...
if we want to change
we need to do and determine to do until the end
only loser that quits
thats the law of nature
dont just stop at talk onli
no use
to say 'i want to change'
then does not take any action towards that
the talk is meaningless
is empty
just an excuse
we need to do what we already determine
then we can grows in our life
of course do things toward d good side la....haha

for those haven learn buddhism
can try 2 learn learn
what the Buddha teach..
not exactly a religion
is about a teaching about how 2 become a TRUE HUMAN
what MANUSIA is about...
living beings which can be upgrade
all of the best psychology, philosophy, lifestyle, thinking, etc...
are all inside the teaching...
dont believe?
go c c la..
(if u want 2 c d result,
u need 2 be patient, sincere and d determination)
haha
no need 2 so formal n stress bout that la...
juz enjoy
life is about enjoy.....haha

my candle had lighted up...hv 2 light the others candles...

These days...
feeling quite weird...
i think i have changed...
i think i hv come 2 a different level...
i can c quite clearly those worries arise around me...
i can n like to think bout its roots n try 2 solve it...
sometimes i feel very pity for those who still dunno they r playin with worries...
worries = a very bad friends...they can either kill u n make u suffer....
i oso feel that nw quite sensitive with 'hatred'
hatred is a one of the most dangerous feelin in the world....

i hv feel the joyness....
the different joyness.....
reli different....
d joyness from within.....
so special...
so long lasting...
so true...
so happy...
this joyness...
lit up my candle....
make me feel wonderful everyday...
connects me 2 c PU XIAN PUSA everyday...
make me feel that i reali touch both of my feet on d ground..
i neither scared of my academic nor my society...
as long s i din lost my focus...
everything is goin fine...

i now wish 2 pass my light 2 other candles...
for those who scared of UBF,
reli 1 2 tell u that a society is set up by people...
if d people change...
d society will change...
lets us bring d society 2 d ways that can b accepted by us..
YES..v can...
the direction that every1 fun 2 do 4 it....
juz d basic direction shall not gone far away...
if every1's candle is lit up,
i m sure these will written in our own history....
a good memories in our history...
i m sure that every1 wish 2 hv good memories than bad memories...
so y dun v choose 2 hv a good memories...
is juz d matter of wether v wan o not...
the matter of can o not is juz d excuse...
is the excuse...
reli excuse.....
if v always gv excuse....
v actually said "excuse me, can i excuse myself from this wonderful world to my little lonely world?"
is so pity..
very pity...
there r solutions 4 us 2 b a happy person...
but many of us juz 1 2 ignore them..
n claim that they will find their own happiness...
will they able 2 find???
mostly will trapped inside delusions, sadness, worriness...
some cases..
they fell down in tiredness, emotionless, sickness...
as everythin is illusions in front of our eyes...
v thought it is solid one thing n can never change...
d law of nature is juz opposite of wat v think...
everythin changes...
there are no solid one thing...
everything is combined by different things....
so y v craving on 2 them...
if time 2 let it go...
then let it go la...
if time is enjoy it...
then enjoy it la...

this light....
reli hope can pass 2 other people...
i sure it can...
coz if every1 gt lit up...
i sure that..
every1's world will b a beautiful world....
a beautiful world...
the world is so beautiful...
very beautiful...
beautiful..
so..
let us get our candle 2 lit d light same s me 2 c this beautiful world....

bukit tinggi

i m on the rite track....juz keep on acceleratin

juz coming back from the so called "er mei shan"(er mei mountain)...haha... feel that pu xian pusa reali always next to me and guide me everytime....He knows that i need 2 noe the meaning of his 10 vows..so he arrange many ing yuans 4 me to get better known of his 10 vows...so, in conjunction with that, he arrange seniors 2 make a committee refresh camp in Bukit Tinggi..

Fuh...so, after the preparation session of Moral stuff, i n Jeng Shiuh straight go 2 Bukit Tinggi as i drive...haha..1st time drive so far 2 place i nvr been b4...luckily can reach there safely..the feeling goin to Bukit Tinggi juz like feel goin 2 'er mei shan' go c puxian pusa..in my mind, this is very very precious...if i not a committee, i wont hv a chance 2 hv this joyness.. deep inside my heart, i cried 4 those committee who din hv d ing yuan to join this refresh camp...u all are so pity...ke lian..this is a very precious precious chance 2 know and upgrade ourself but u all missed the chance...T.T

goin there, besides hearing 10 vows of pu xian, i manage 2 get recognization from Bro. Chong n seniors about my thinking and my experience of Dhamma...feel that i realli on d rite track...anyhow, learning Dhamma is not juz listening n know what is said...it is about how u practise what u learn n experience them... 4 me, d more frequent v experience the dhamma, the more v noe about ourself n the more v can live in happily n also v can c the world more n more clearly...THE POWER OF DHAMMA--DONT UNDERESTIMATE IT...

During this camp, feel that d bonding among committees who went n seniors,getting stronger...also feel that Mei Er, Wei Hau, You Wei, Ah Kong had learnt smthing n really hope this will boost their confidence in Dhamma... Seniors especially old seniors reli reli fun n so caring bout us...haha..

haha...it is juz 2 days n 1 nite camp...many things happen in this camp..either 'cant c light'events or 'can c light' events..haha...everything oso so fun...also can live in France style of village...n from this camp, i observed that 'smthing big' will happen...haha...secret...juz duduk dan tengok..i hv seen d review..the 'big movie' goin 2 release...haha..stop 4 here 1st...short camp but very very nice camp..i hope i gt another chance 2 go there..NO REGRETS 2 B IN THIS FAMILY..

come la.....STONES!!!!!!

People says new year new hopes..
but 4 me, this year would make me say new year, new challenges..
haha...

many things keep coming banging on me...just feel like standing in the middle of a circle of people who keep throwing stoneS at me... But luckily, i still have d feeling like a big strong pillar..standing strong and wont let the stones hit me down...so i gonna be wise..hv 2 let go which i think i cant handle n focusing on wat i need 2 do.. When let of the stone, makes me hope dat the stones wont turn back n hit me again..i m juz a normal human, i cant please any1..

My education n fellowship being my major stones testing my life...i now defending against these stones...so i hv 2 avoid n let go other stones which might lower down my defence..but,may be when i let go other stones will effect the major stones become stronger against me...but i cant do anything as is not within my control...n of course i reli dun hope dat will happen...it juz make me feel more tired n may b my strong pillar might juz go down meet d ground...emotionless...defendless....tiredness....sadness...sickness

4 me, tell me, remind me, my ownself....escaping is not a soln..turn away is not a soln..everything hv cleared...y makin ownself like a monster...y want 2 run from reality? y not accept d reality n get goin by the wise n wisdom way? mind make the problem arise, y not we cure the sickness of our mind n start goin in new direction??
not like we dun undertand, juz we dun1 accept the reality n keep pressuring ownself n others...have 2 cool down n think back..is it worth 4 everything i do, i think, i speak? wats the wisdom way 2 solve this thing?
Juz cure it from my mind....
many things we thought we reli need 2 have, if not we will die..
IS IT WE NEED 4 LIFE?? O WE WANT 4 LIFE??
need n want is different things...think n reflect back...is we will die if we doesnt get wat we want... i c back my GOLDEN SPOON... 4 everything, 4 everytime, we reli need 2 have limit..we reli nid 2 noe where n when 2 stop...CRAVING is o horrible things...scary....

k la..i think i stop here first..fuh..all my heart shit poured here..haha..senz ar..senz...u need continue become a strong pillar o...u still need 2 make good 'ing yuan's 4 u and other people....jia you